I bought some books for Jeff and I. Father to son and Mother to son Life Lessons on Raising a Boy. They are wonderful little books. On the last page of each book the lesson is to Let Him Go. I look at my two boys and want to be a good parent. I look back on my childhood and think my parents did a good job with my sister and I. They raised us to be strong, independent women. They never tried to be our friends. They were pretty strict. Which sometimes sucked but in the long run I am thankful for it. They trusted in their ability to have raised us to make good choices. They let us make our mistakes. They let us fall down hard and figure out how to pick ourselves up. I am sure it was really hard and heart breaking to watch, but they did it. My mom was an AP English teacher. She would never have written a paper for us or did our grammar homework like so many parents do now. They let us be free. My mother is secure in her life and has her own life. When she is around, the grandkids love her. She will hike, play and run with them all day long. She has endless energy for them which is such a joy to watch. She is also so busy with her own life and activities. Which is sometimes hard but I know it is the right way to be. In the end I am so thankful that she did Let Us Go. I am sure it was hard but it is the most selfless act a parent can do. I hope I can live up to those expectations of someday letting my boys go to live their own lives.
Every Saturday while in college I would meet my sister at the library to call my mom collect. We were encouraged not to come home for summers but to forge our own lives. We were encouraged to make friends, have roommates, find apartments and get jobs on our own. Yes we could always come home if needed but it wasn’t ever to be permanent. In the end we both moved out of state for graduate work. My sister is a pharmacist with her Pharm D and is married to an oncology surgeon. I am a veterinarian.
I think of what my friend Patti said about her two boys. I know my boys faults. I am just thankful they both found women who could live with them. I think of that every day. My mom knows my faults. She is thankful I found someone who could make me happy and live with me. I want to be like that. Thank goodness I have a long time to perfect that!